by Tim Connor, CSP
Yes, there are millions of types of people but, they all fall into one of three categories (for the sake of this article) - yes people, no people and maybe people.
Let me explain.
But before I do, let me be clear - your response to the following will tend to be an automatic quick reaction to what you read. In other words, you will be an example of what the point of the article actually is - you will have a yes, a no or a maybe response to the content of this article and what and how I share it.
OK, now that that's out of the way, on to the substance.
Yes, people are not pie in the sky optimists but tend to see the world as half full vs. half empty.
“Yes” people tend to have open minds even about things they are uncomfortable with or know little about. Their first reaction to meeting new people, new ideas, not opportunities and yes even new problems and challenges are - a yes - I can do it, I can figure it out, I will make it work, I won't let it derail me, I won't let it ruin me, I won't give it control over me etc. They are not always easy to persuade or influence just because they are yes people, but they are more open and receptive to new and different stuff, ideas, people, and circumstances.
“No” people, on the other hand, are just the opposite of “yes” people. Their first responses to most stuff is a quick - no - I can't, it won't work, it's too expensive, too cheap, too old, too new, he's too arrogant, she's too short etc. get it - these folks are closed off from almost anything and everything that represents new, change, better, different etc.
And then there are the “maybe” people. These folks can go either way - yes or no, but their reactions and responses will generally be governed by a number of factors. Their need for approval, their need to avoid rejection, their self-esteem, their desire to avoid conflict, their desire to contribute to positive outcomes regardless of whether they are based on or grounded in truth, reality or evidence. They often have decision phobia when any of the above situations are in play. Yes, they can be yes people, but only when it suits the circumstances, environment or outcomes and yes, they can be no people depending on the same issues. A few things to consider and I'll keep them short.
What are the major contributors to which group a person is in?
Your upbringing and early conditioning by parents, caregivers, churches, schools, and teachers, relatives, friends and anyone who had temporary or permanent influence over what you learned, what and who you were exposed to and everything you were taught. Most psychologists agree that a person's self-esteem is established at the latest by age 10. So, before you hit your teens you tended to be a yes, no or a maybe person.
Can someone successfully switch groups permanently?
Yes, but it's not easy and takes time, a lot of effort, great patience, focus, new learning, a lot of will and a great deal of desire to change. It's harder for no people to change and it takes more time for a maybe person to change.
Which group tends to be happier and more content?
What do you think? And why - if you were right - it's yes people. Can no or maybe people be happy and content? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them.
Which group tends to be more successful?
What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people be successful? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them.
Which group tends to be healthier?
What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people be healthy? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them. Sensing a pattern here?
Which group tends to live longer?
What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people live long lives? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them.
There are a lot of other areas we could discuss that specifically address each group and its issues, circumstances, tendencies, behaviors, attitudes etc. but if you are a no person I have lost you by now. If you are a maybe person you are conflicted because of certain things I have said and if you are a yes person you have other things to do and I'm not telling you anything you don't know or have felt or believed in the past and I have just put words to the subject and it's time for you to move on to something else.
In conclusion - do you think you are a - yes, no or maybe person? ##